Regarding holiday gatherings oftentimes our source of stress is not the event itself but our anticipation of it. In an effort to be prepared for a situation our minds will create and visualize multiple scenarios. The stress of expectations combined with pressure we impose on ourselves for happier and more manageable outcomes leads to tension before the event itself. Memories of past unpleasant experiences can also bolster our inclination to “be ready this time.”
An approach that helps is to center and remind ourselves the key to calm is how we react in the present moment.
We can trust our ability to react in alignment with our desire for harmony and peace because this not only helps us personally, but positively affects others around us. Every action causes a reaction. So an encounter with a problematic relative, for example, could mean you can better understand how to listen to them, or accept they have a need to behave a certain way or to be heard and reacting with a counterpoint isn’t necessary. Offer the gift of listening. You’ll feel better too!
Centering can be as simple as slowing down, moving our focus away from expectations, or doing any number of mindfulness exercises.
Self care methods such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques -tapping-) help down-regulate our nervous systems ( which is where we experience stress ). We can mentally intend to be calm but it helps immeasurably to engage the mind-body connection as well. Our emphasis on thinking and playing out possibilities keeps us in our heads. We are more than our minds and tension is felt in the body so when we are in partnership with our entire self many possibilities appear.
I wish you a holiday season filled with possibilities and new discoveries about the joys of self regulation.
Feel free to reach out to me about my local workshops and therapy sessions focused on self care and stress management techniques.
www.avivachanskyguttmann.com
631-885-4375
Helpconnectingus@Gmail,com
